Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date – Dennis Rainey

Family Life’s mastermind has developed a superb tool for dads: Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date: 8 Steps to No Regrets. This small book is just what dads who want to protect their daughters have been waiting for. We are finally given permission to “meet the boy.” The book is designed with dads in mind—it’s short, it’s practical, and it’s straightforward.

Rainey (father of four daughters and two sons) takes you on the journey of why to and how to approach all of those boys who want to spend time with your precious little princess. This journey starts with trust that must be built between dad and daughter, and helps us to realize that taking time to take an interest in the suitors (or would-be suitors) who notice our daughters want to be held accountable for their actions—they need us (the dads of their dates) to help them be the men that they want to be.

No longer do you have to depend on the Louisville Slugger in the corner to intimidate the pimple-faced beast that’s appeared at your door on prom night. No longer do we have to meet them with our revolver on the table amidst cleaning supplies. No longer must we, as one friend said, toss the boy a bullet followed by “the next one’s coming faster.” With the help of Dennis Rainey, we can actually get to know the young men who come by to see our daughters.

Some argue that this book is designed for those whose daughters are already or on the verge of dating. I would disagree. My oldest is 5 and I’m glad to have had a chance at this book years before her debut. I now have a few years to continue building the relationship that will build the trust needed so that when boys do start coming around, it will be natural for my baby to say, “You’ve got to meet my dad first.”

Rainey also includes samplings from the many of these interviews he has conducted. Knowing that each interview will be different based on the boy who shows up at the door, Rainey includes five general areas of concern that should be addressed: Family, Work habits, Life plans, Christian testimony, and Driving record. He also includes an outline that helps guide the nervous father through the basics to cover that will be telling about the prospect and put both interviewer and interviewee at ease as they come to an agreement about what is a proper date:

1. Recognize women as God’s beautiful creation.


2. Acknowledge that attraction is normal and good.


3. Remember your own young adult sex drive.


4. Hold him accountable for his relationship with your daughter.


5. Challenge him to purity.


6. Ask him to respect and uphold your daughter’s dignity.


7. Confirm that he understands your message.


8. Be sure you can count on him to challenge his own children to purity someday.

Scattered through the book are stories of other men who developed relationships with their daughters making it clear that new boyfriends must pass muster before dates would be allowed. In short, this book is a must for dads who want the best for their daughters and for the boys they date.

(here’s the new “rating” system for my reviews) I give Interviewing Your Daughter’s Date 5 thumbs. Get a copy for the father of a daughter today.

—Benjamin Potter, July 30, 2007

Free Book Friday

The guys over at Pastor Bookshelf are giving away books. They do it every Friday (when they have time and books). All you have to do is post and link, then wait for them to choose you from the entrants. So, this type of announcement may become regular here at Book 'em Benj-O. This week's book , Questioning Evangelism, looks interesting, so I'm signing up.

Friday Book Give-away

The guys over at Pastor Bookshelf are giving away books. They do it every Friday (when they have time and books). All you have to do is post and link, then wait for them to choose you from the entrants. So, this type of announcement may become regular here at Book 'em Benj-O. This week's book looks interesting, so I'm signing up.

Saturday Review Reading Challenge

Pardon me as I take another pause from reviewing to tell you about this reading challenge. Because it doesn't require too much out of the order extra time from me, I'm joining. Sherry over at Semicolon has issued the challenge related to her "Saturday Review of Books" series. Each Saturday she invites people to post links to books they have reviewed during the week. She's been doing this about a year and to celebrate, she's invited readers to choose six books from the list of recommendations to read between now and the end of 2007 (that's only about one book a month). The object is to read the books, review them and provide links to your review at Sherry's blog. Easy-peasy, right? Head on over and join with me. (You'll also want to be looking for the reviews to come from the books on my list.)

And now here's my list for the challenge:

• Best of Father Brown by G.K. Chesterton. Reviewed by Kim C.


• Caddie Woodlawn by Carol Ryrie Brink. Reviewed by Sandy D. at The Newbery Project.


• Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. Reviewed by Jennifer Snapshot.


• Eragon by Christopher Paolini. Reviewed by Carrie at Mommy Brain. Reviewed by Sherry at Semicolon.


• The Long Goodbye by Raymond Chandler. Recommended by Bonnie at Dwell in Possibility.


• The Singer by Calvin Miller. Reviewed by Sherry at Semicolon.

I've also chosen these alternates if (a)I have difficulty finding copies of my first choice at the library, or (b)I have extra time before the deadline:

• Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo. Reviewed by Krista at Musings of a Lady.


• The Collectors by David Baldacci. Reviewed at Lynne’s Little Corner of the World.


• First We have Coffee by Margaret Jensen. Reviewed by Leslie at Abiding.


• The Path of Celtic Prayer by Calvin Miller. Reviewed by Cubfann at The Preface.


• The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. Reviewed by HeidiJane at Adventures in Bookland.


• A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith. Reviewed by Barbara at Stray Thoughts. Reviewed at It’s a Small World.

New Reviews Site Going

I've just had my first review posted over on Pastor Bookshelf. Their Review Program is a way for pastors and pastors in training to find worthwhile books (by reading helpful reviews) and even build their libraries for ministry. I've reviewed on a less academic level Simple Church before at my general blog site.

Just a Guy – Bill Engvall with Alan Eisenstock

What?! You say. This guy is writing books now?! Yes. While it’s pretty safe to say the addition of the co-writer helped Bill to write something that was readable. Bill Engvall, that other guy on the Blue Collar Comedy tour, the “Heeeere’s your sign” guy has written a book. It’s a memoir, an autobiography, a journal after the fact. My wife and kids picked up a copy and gave it to me for Father’s Day and I finally got around to reading (and finishing) it.

Beginning with his birth, Engvall invites readers in to witness the development and shaping of what makes a Blue Collar comic. We ride with Bill on his bike through early years in Texas, formative years in Winslow, Arizona, and then later years in Dallas. He lifts the shades to let us peek in on the good times the bad times and the ugly—lots and lots of ugly.

The opening chapters of Just a Guy remind you of Engvall’s comedy. They are funny to the point of tears as he remembers and you remember because you are “just a guy” too. You hide with him as he waits to scare his sisters or other family members (almost giving Grandpa a heart attack). You can hear and smell the sounds and smells of the little league field, swinging right along with Bill to make not only one but two homeruns in an early career. As you read you can almost hear Bill leading into the next punch line. It’s a great romp.

About one-third of the way through the book you get hammered with his parents’ divorce and the book almost gets too personal. You want him to be funny, but the hurt that comes through doesn’t allow funny. He does regain some of the comic charm as he tells about his father’s remarriage, how Mary becomes “mom” and not just “step-mom”, the highs (literally) and lows of his misspent college days, his break into comedy accompanied by his romance and marriage to Gail.

He reaches all your emotional bones—funny, sad, and otherwise—with his readable prose. If you’re “just a guy” you’ll want to read this. If you’re really a “guy” you’ll wait for the movie—or at least wait for Bill to include it in his act. I’d recommend this book to some and not to others. Sorry Bill, the best I can do for you is 4 thumbs, but that’ll get you back home.

—Benjamin Potter, July 12, 2007

Bridge to Terabithia – Katherine Paterson

One moment between the covers of Bridge to Terabithia reveals why Katherine Paterson’s walls are filled with awards. Not only did this volume win the coveted Newberry Medal but many other awards as well. As a matter of fact Paterson’s writing has won literary awards time and time again. I first encountered Paterson and Bridge as an education student earning teacher certification. I was taking the class we lovingly called “Kiddie Lit.” I re-read it because a film-maker decided to adapt the story for the screen and the result has been released on video. I’m hoping to view the movie soon, and at the same time hoping not to be overly judgmental toward what the previews promise to be completely different from the book.

Why is it a bad thing for the movie to depart from the book? Because the book is such a great story about childhood, having little or nothing to do with fantasy, that’s why. Bridge to Terabithia is the story of Jesse and Leslie, two fifth-graders who become friends and whose friendship is the occasion for creating a new land where Jess is king and Leslie is queen.

Paterson deals with a variety of issues that budding adolescents deal with: new relationships, school bullies, religion, and others. She makes the most exquisite use of foreshadow that I have read in years. The tragedy that is the premise for the book (the building of a bridge to the fantastical land of Terabithia) is foreshadowed from the opening scenes of the book to the Easter service where Jesse is bored and Leslie fascinated.

This book is great writing on a number of levels. The children are believable as children, the settings are real. Bridge to Terabithia has it all—great characters, great stories, great scenes, great dialog, and it is an award winner. Read it before seeing the movie, read it instead of seeing the movie, read it for the first time, read it again for the first time, just read it.

—Benjamin Potter, July 6, 2007

Can't Resist Free Books

PastorBookshelf has started a Blog. They're instigating a Friday giveaway for pastors, pastors-in-training, and trainers-of-pastors. If you'll indulge me, since this is my book site, I'll post about the giveaways here. The first book offered is Recalling the Hope of Glory by Allen P. Ross. Read about the contest here.

Confessions of a Pastor – Craig Groeschel

As a pastor I receive these mailings called “Pastor Ministry Cards.” They are filled with advertisements and mail-in cards to help me in my ministry. I usually skim through them quickly just in case there is something useful for me or the church inside. A few months ago I received a similar mailing. This one was more of a catalog than a packet of cards, but the premise was the same. I thumbed through and found an offer for a free book—just go on-line to this address and click on that link and register for your book. I’m all about free books, especially those that promise to help me in my ministry. A few days later I received this book. I’ll start by saying it was worth the price, and if I had known how good it was, I would have paid cover price and read it long before now.

Craig Groeschel is the founding pastor of a megachurch. He’s trying to get real. Part of the way he is doing this is by publishing his “Confessions”. Inside the covers we learn of his battles with being the best pastor that he could be, his doubts about his own ability, his struggles with sexual sin and loneliness. We learn that even though he’s the pastor of a fast-growing, multi-location church, he’s just a regular person. Wouldn’t it be nice if all our pastors (present company included) would admit to their own humanity?

From the introduction in which he admits to living a lie—wearing a mask in order to seem to be the person that others want to see—to the close of the last chapter in which he challenges the reader to become real too, Groeschel makes you realize that you need to own up to your own personal shortcomings as well.

Perhaps the most telling confession for me was in the chapter that the author dealt with fear of failure. My own fear of this giant often keeps me from stepping out and doing something for the Kingdom. And that’s his point. If we will admit to our shortfalls, confess our obsessions and guiltiness, God can take us and use us. Here’s the deal: God already knows that we don’t like some people, that we gossip, that we lust, and we lie. If we will admit, confess these things, we release them to the One who can help us overcome them. It doesn’t make it okay to practice these things, but it allows God to know that we know who we are and we will stop trying to be someone else.

I recommend this book to ministers and lay-persons alike. Anyone who is a Christ follower and wants to become more like Jesus will benefit from reading this book. I recommend it for small group study—men’s groups, ladies’ groups, young or old adults. I recommend it, but with a warning. You may find the mirror he is holding up shows an ugly picture. You may become angry or embarrassed by what the book forces you to reveal to or about yourself. It’s hard, but it’s worth it. And Confessions of a Pastor is worth the read.

—Benjamin Potter, June 21, 2007

True Grit – Charles Portis

With the recommendation of one of the authors responding to the Rap Sheet’s inquiry as to the most underrated book, I found a copy of True Grit and read it. The copy I found was a paperback reprint of the story that first appeared in 1968. The cover art included references to the movie that has been seen as a classic with the caption “Now a Rip-Roaring Paramount Movie” emblazoned with black and white photos of the starring cast inset. Relying on my love for the western genre and the promise of a great story that hadn’t really received its due (despite the exposure brought by the movie) I set my cap for an enjoyable few hours between the pages.

I was not disappointed. The background of the story is that Mattie Ross’ father (John) has been murdered by a hired hand while in Fort Smith on business. The hand, known to Mattie as Tom Chaney, was drunk and unruly when he killed and robbed the man who had taken him in and given him honest work. Fourteen-year-old Mattie has come to Ft. Smith ostensibly to claim the body and secretly has determined with herself that she will find her father’s killer and see him brought to justice.

In her quest for vengeance she enlists the aid of Reuben “Rooster” Cogburn, a salty, one-eyed, drinking deputy marshal operating out of the court of infamous “hanging” Judge Isaac Parker. Cogburn is described to the young girl as a man who has “grit” (a highly desirable character trait when hunting down a hardened criminal). As they prepare to set off on the journey—Mattie insists on tagging along—they are joined by Texas Ranger LaBoeuf (pronounced “LaBeef”) who is himself trailing the murderer for crimes committed in Texas under the name Chelmsford.

While most people equate the title of the book to refer to the rustic Rooster Cogburn (even under the insistence of Mattie Ross), I believe that the epitaph “True Grit” would find a better the headstone marking Mattie’s grave. She has a head for business, a sharp tongue, and a determination that belies her fourteen years. She faces harsh weather, ridicule, and even death with the strength of an experienced rangehand.
One constant distraction in reading this classic—which carries all the marks of a classic—is the prominence of the movie as you read. It is difficult to read Rooster’s words and not hear the voice of John Wayne. While the Duke picked up the character and demeanor of the crusty marshal, the visual was one that fell slightly short of the description (the original had a prominent mustache coupled with the eyepatch). Of the cast in the movie, the one who most closely fit the character portrayed was Kim Darby who played the determined Mattie Ross. I still wonder what was going through the minds of the filmmakers causing them to cast Glen Campbell in the role of Texan LaBoeuf.

Interestingly enough, even with the distractions caused by the movie, I was pleasantly surprised by the faithfulness that the filmmakers held to the original story. The writing and directing helped bring the story to life in a way that most modern movies discount when adapting a novel for the silver screen.

Bottom line—True Grit is a real shoot ‘em up with all the action and adventure needed to make it work. It is written in such a way as to be welcome in an English teacher’s class.

—Benjamin Potter, June 19, 2007